We all need breaks especially when you’re juggling writing, home, significant others, work, kids, critters, friends, etc….  We all like to think that we’re superhuman, but we’re not and we have to have some downtime to rest, recharge and restore.  We need to sleep at night, nap if needed and just veg out at times.  I know that it might not seem possible for us to do that, but we have to do it otherwise everything in our lives will suffer.  We need our health…mental and physical…and that’s the 1st thing that suffers when we try to get by on less than the optimal amount of sleep.  I began writing Rapture when I was suffering from a brutal case of insomnia.  I’d get home from work, eat, spend time with Rick and my critters, then sit down and start writing.  I would stop around 1:00am and try to sleep but to no avail, so I’d get back up and write some more.  Around 5:00am, I’d lie down and would get maybe an hour’s sleep before I had to get up, get ready and head to work to begin the cycle anew.  This went on for several weeks.  By that time, I was barely functioning.  I couldn’t think straight or remember anything.  My relationships, work, and writing were suffering.  I was angry all of the time and, quite honestly, I felt as though I was on the verge of a breakdown…and I was.  My husband forced me to go to see my doctor who put on some medication that should have helped me sleep but didn’t.  He referred me to my current neurologist, who is amazing.  He also prescribed sleep meds that also did not work.  I did several sleep studies and he figured out that I had delayed sleep phase syndrome, insomnia, and narcolepsy.  He then knew how to treat me even though it took some trial and error to get me on my current meds.  By the time that we had the answer everything in my life was basically on hold.  I couldn’t write and could barely think.  My marriage suffered a little but we weathered it.  Rick stuck close to my side while all of this was going on.  Work also suffered to a degree.  After I started sleeping again, I was able to do all of the things that had ground to a halt when I was getting an hour of sleep per night.  This I know, is a worst-case scenario, but it illustrates my point.  Take care of yourself.  Eat right, exercise, see your doctor regularly, socialize, and, of course, sleep.  Humans are machines.  We need care and maintenance so that our bodies can perform at their highest level.  That’s probably the most important writing tip I can give you.  You can’t do your best writing if your brain isn’t functioning properly and your brain isn’t going to function properly if you neglect your physical and mental health.  So, take care of yourself.  And rest.  And write.

“Self-care is not selfish.  You cannot serve from an empty vessel.” ` Eleanor Brownn

Some days, we sit down and the words flow so quickly that our typing/writing just can’t keep up.  Other days we sit and stare at a blank page while willing the words to come.  It is so far beyond frustrating that there really are no words to adequately describe the feeling.  We type a few words, stare at them for a while then backspace thru them.  Have we lost that creative spark?  Did we even have it to begin with?  Have we just been fooling ourselves?  Stop worrying!  We all have these times that frustrate and challenge us.  Our brain has an amazing capacity that allows us to create, multi-task and retain information but it can be overloaded, just like a computer.  You have to clear the RAM in your brain.  Each of us has a different way of doing this.  Some might lie in a hammock and stare up at the stars at night.  Others might read a favorite book that has inspired them in the past.  A long luxurious bubble bath with candles, exotic bath salts and a big glass of wine sounds really good right now.  Or a comfy cozy nap.  There is no wrong way to do it because this is your brain…not mine or anyone else’s.  What inspires you?  What makes you feel safe and comfortable?  Go do that then come back to your project.  I know that I, as a pantser, run into this on a regular basis.  Plotters have their character sketches and outlines while I sit down in my chair in front of my laptop and hope that the muses are in today and feeling generous.  Sometimes it feels as though I’m channeling rather than actually creating.  I start out with only a vague idea of where I want the book to go and 20 pages later, I find my characters in a situation that I never even imagined.  And I’m stuck while my muses are laughing their asses off.  Creativity is fickle.  Some people have figured out how to turn it on and off but the rest of us are still struggling with that.  For me, the worst thing that I can do is try to force it but I can’t just walk away every single time that the words aren’t flowing so I’ve developed a few things that help me when I’m in this situation.  Try switching gears…if you’re writing a book, try writing a poem.  If what you’re writing is of a serious nature, try writing about the funniest thing that ever happened to you.  You get the idea.  I also listen to music that is in the same vein as my writing.  Romantic scene = Savage Garden’s Truly Madly Deeply .  Unrequited love = Fleetwood Mac’s Silver Springs.  Anger =  heavy metal.  Or I watch a movie that has a similar theme to what I’m writing.  I’m sure that you can come up with your own rituals that will get you unstuck.  As usual, my message is…don’t ever give up.  You will regret it.  I know that I do but I’ve got my behind back in the chair in front of my laptop.  I’m not going to waste any more time and you shouldn’t either.

“When I’m writing, I write.  And then it’s as if the muse is convinced that I’m serious and says ‘Okay.  Okay.  I’ll come.'” ~ Maya Angelou

 

             

Sometimes, after work, chores, writing groups and/or classes, etc…, you just want to go crawl into the bed and sleep.  Well, you know what…that’s okay!  We all have to recharge.  Some of us sleep, others go out into nature, others listen to music or meditate and some people actually go to the gym.  Personally, I think that’s insanity, but who am I to judge?  And the reasons that we need to recharge are as diverse as we are.  I have an empathic nature and I soak up other people’s energy so if the people I’m around are angry or tense or depressed, etc…, it affects me in a negative way.  My husband, bless his heart, knows that when I come home from work, I need at least a half hour to recover and decompress before I am human again so he leaves me alone with my little Chihuahua, Dude, and we cuddle while my day just fades away.  Sometimes, everything about my day was so extremely negative that it takes much longer…plus a rant to my husband…to even begin to clear it away.  It doesn’t matter why…if you need time off, take it.  Do whatever it is that recharges you and gets you back into a writing frame of mind.  Most of us have divided our lives into 2 parts…writing and everything else.  When you’re juggling as many things as we are, you really do need that separation.  And we shouldn’t feel bad about it.  But we do at times.  We feel as though we’re neglecting someone or something when we shut ourselves away to write and, honestly, sometimes we are.  So sit down and make a list of your responsibilities and obligations including family, work, friends, self-care (never forget that 1), writing and so on.  Does your significant other have a hobby that they indulge in on a regular basis and can you schedule your writing time during the time that they’re otherwise engaged?  Do your kids have playdates that you don’t need to be present for?  Will your house still be standing if you only do laundry and vacuum once a week rather than twice?  Will it literally kill someone to eat take-out once a week rather than a homecooked meal?  If you skip 1 happy hour with your friends will it do irreparable damage to the friendship?  You see where this is going.  Make your list then look at it and decide where you can carve out some me time that can be used for self-care or to write.  And stop feeling guilty about it.  You are a multi-faceted person and every part of your life deserves the attention that you give it.  You also need rest and relaxation because, without an adequate amount of both, you will not be able to handle everything that’s going on in your life, much less find time to write.  Stop feeling guilty because you were born human and because there are only 24 hours in your day and you have to fit every responsibility that you have into that limited amount of time.  So, sit back, relax and decide just how you’re going to use that 24 hours you’ve been given.  Visualize what it will be like then tweak it and tweak it again until you have a 24 hour period that you can not just live with but that you’re excited about.  So rest a little.  Relax a little.  And write a lot!

“Writing is like giving yourself homework, really hard homework, every day, for the rest of your life.  You want glamorous?  Throw glitter at the computer screen.” ~ Katrina Monroe

Most of us know what it’s like to juggle our writing (or any other creative endeavor), a job, family, household management and chores, pets, friends, writing groups and/or classes, etc….  Oh, yeah, and sleep!  It can be a real struggle to find time to just sit down and write without distractions pulling our attention away from what we’re trying to do.  I am ADHD so that makes it even more fun.  All I can tell you is, don’t let anything stop you from creating your masterpiece.  Of course, I know that’s so much easier said than done.  I personally let life get in the way of my dream for almost 10 years.  I started my novel, Rapture, and shortly thereafter, my life became about my parents’ Alzheimer’s, my husband’s and my health issues, work and general distractions that I used as excuses to not write.  I let Rapture sit unfinished for all of those years even though being a published author was my lifelong dream.  Part of it, I suppose, had to do with my insecurities and doubts about my writing ability.  If I never finished it, it couldn’t be rejected…I couldn’t be rejected.  All of that was in spite of Rapture being optioned by a publisher at 1 point and a producer of web series wanting to turn it into a series.  You’d think that would be enough to convince me that I can actually write…but it wasn’t.  Creative people’s brains seem to work differently than the brains of others.  We want nothing more than for our work to be acknowledged yet we find reason after reason to not put it out there to be acknowledged.  We doubt our abilities and talents even though others have told us that we are as good as we sometimes think we are.  We find reasons to not write while the frustration of not writing builds inside of us.  Sometimes that is enough to make us write.  Other times there is a spark of some sort that sets off a frenzy of creativity.  For me, that spark was SARK (Susan Ariel Rainbow Kennedy).  I joined Succulent Wild World and I felt the old stirrings that set the writing of Rapture in motion.  Then she told me that I should definitely sign up for her Rhapsody of Writing incubator where she will mentor us for 3 months.  I signed up and then the last step was submitting a writing sample.  I panicked.  Should I submit a poem, an essay or an excerpt of Rapture?  Then my fears/doubts began to run wild…they’ll hate it, it’s not serious writing like the other people will submit, etc….  But I copied and pasted the Rapture excerpt then hit send.  What was I thinking?  That was stupid!  They’ll never want me after reading that.  I don’t have time right now for ROW or writing.  If I get in, all the other writers will hate it.  And so on and so forth.  Sound familiar?  I can sit here and tell you to get up earlier and get your writing done before your day begins.  Or stay up a little later.  Or to write on your breaks and lunch hour at work.  Or get off of Facebook or Instagram.  Or stop playing Candy Crush or Trivia Crack (my own personal addiction).  As far as the getting up earlier or staying up later is concerned…I can’t do either.  I have 3 major sleep disorders and take meds to keep me awake, put me to sleep and to keep me asleep.  My neurologist has worked for years to find the right cocktail of drugs and to get me on a schedule that minimizes the effects of the disorders.  I am admittedly somewhat addicted to Facebook and Trivia Crack so that’s something I can stop doing or at least cut down on the time I spend doing both in order to fit more writing into my life.  I can leave work on time rather than spend another hour or so working on something that can wait until tomorrow.  And when I do get home from work, instead of turning on the TV I could take a little time to decompress from work and spend some time with my husband then head to my writing room.  I have just found at least a couple of hours to write.  For the next week, really pay attention to how you spend your time and keep track of it.  I promise you that there are things that you’re doing on a daily basis that can be completely cut out, rearranged, streamlined, etc…, in order for you to find the time to write.  We all have different schedules and responsibilities so there is no single answer that will fit all of our situations.  And, honestly, I’m figuring all of this out on the fly so I have very few concrete answers for you.  All I do know is that we have to write…it’s a part of our soul, heart and being…so we have to make the time.   And, even when you’ve found the time, there are always unexpected things that come up…family emergencies, health issues, work crises, etc…, that will sometimes demand your full attention and there’s very little that you can do about that.  All I can tell you is to always carry a notebook with you everywhere so that when you have a moment and inspiration strikes, you can jot it down and use it later.  We have to learn to find those moments in our lives because writing even 1 sentence is better than writing nothing.

“Those who say it can’t be done are usually interrupted by those doing it.” ~ James Baldwin